I’ll go to Portland at the drop of a hat. On a short recon trip to Bullseye glass, we managed to keep our blood sugar levels high and our blood alcohol steady. Bar Pastiche is a great first stop before the hotel. They have true tapas, the kind that cost a dollar or two, none of that namby pamby $8-a-very-petit-plat shite. And a bottle of French cider sets you back $12.

Bar Pastiche
3731 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Open all day, Tue - Sun

Conjoined to Pastaworks, so don’t forget to get some local cheese and bread and what not for the hotel room while you’re at it.

The place is a joint venture between the owners of Navarre, one of my favorite restaurants in the city, and Pix Patisserie, providers of such delights as illustrated here.

Pix Patisserie - two locations
3402 SE Division St
3901 N Williams Ave

Navarre
10 NE 28th Ave

St. Honore bakery is an authentic French bakery my friend Carrie O. tags as one of the finest around. Their croissants are perfectly crisp and usually still warm any time I’ve eaten them. (…and they use locally milled flour) Almond friands, Miche Banal bread and benoitons stand out, and I always find myself planning what I’ll get next. 6 macaroons, an apple chiboust, and a Paris-brest. I mean, you know, if you’re going… I’ll totally pay you back.

St. Honore Bakery
2335 NW Thurman St

So, I’m a cupcake snob. I believe cupcakes begin in the home. I believe cupcakes should be given freely. I believe that if you should be so bat-shit insane as to endeavor to sell cupcakes, then you must face the trials of moistness. Cupcakes are more than cake for they must retain their shape once stripped of their wrapping. They must be moist, but not oily or dense. Difficult it is. Better than Duncan Hines it should be. The delicious cupcakes at Saint Cupcake (407 NW 17th Avenue at Flanders) pass my gom jabbar, especially the vanilla-toffee with chocolate, fat Elvis, chocolate with cream cheese, and the red velvet.

Half & Half (923 SW Oak Street) Sometimes? I go to Portland just for Powell’s, a sandwich and fuax-reos. Half & Half is a tiny cafe nestled between my two favorite bookstores in Portland. THey make the best sandwiches ever. Last one I had was turkey with bitter greens and marionberry chutney. Not fancy, but just different enough. The homemade Oreos use these incredible crisp/chewy chocolate snaps. I always buy them out.