Stinkin’ Fuckin Hippies
Every where you go……
Dear Filthy Stinkin Hippie,
Wait, let’s not start out on the wrong foot.
Dearest Earth brother or sister,
I know I have mercilously assailed your lifestyle choice repeatedly in the past. But now, as I am older, I want to understand you. Truly. You are a mystery to me. So I will start out by awarding you the so deperately wanted status as a “tribe” that you crave. If you can answer a few questions for me:
1) What’s up with the patchouli? Why only patchouli? Sandelwood’s nice (and ancient). Rose water and orange blossom water have roots in ancient tribal culture. Couldn’t you just carry a vanilla bean in your pants? Why do no other essential oils appeal to you?
2) Prayer flags: is there a store on-line where you can buy these? You all seem to have them, yet I doubt you’ve all been to Nepal. What do they mean to you? Having never climbed a mountain.
3) Drums: Why do you beat them so? You are white and from Encino or Bellevue or Downers Grove. Does this bring you closer to the idea of the noble savage that lives within us all? Do you feel closer to Gaia? Or did you not get to take up an instrument in the 6th grade like everyone else?
I guess even with all of your hijacked accoutrements, I see you as tourists. With your roots in white, suburban America, I wonder whether you are trying to acheive a certain understanding of the world or are just expressing a queer form of guilt.
Are you trying to find yourself? Well, allow me to help. You are a middle class white person. This is the only way you can afford to fly to Mexico. You are not a Rasta, and no amount of Jello, floppy hats, or smelly green shit will make this so. You are not a native of anything but suburbia, nor will you ever be.
Now put your hacky sack away before I shove it down your throat, you’re getting your patchouli stink all over my bitchin’ tacos, cabron.
January 21st, 2006 at 7:43 am
what, you don’t like smelly people? It’s snowing and -5 degrees here, jonesing.
January 22nd, 2006 at 12:39 am
I thought that this would be one of your favorite sites!LOL I a suprised it is not on your links page….
http://www.hippiegoddess.com/
January 23rd, 2006 at 9:06 pm
Look, I don\’t care what anyone\’s take is on Leftists or Rightwingers; but life isn\’t about pointing fingers and calling out the faults of others… It\’s about looking at yourself and trying to correct those faults withing you first. No one is really ever perfect, and that goes for this so-called son of god… Just be yourself and do your best to do right by others. I think that is what we are all striving to live for… Peace!
January 24th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Big E - Aaaahhhhh!
lelandg - You’re a bigger person than I. And I absolutely agree with you, except when it comes to hippies.
Do you know a house full of hippies kept the entire HARD WORKING, ASS BUSTING village of Mexicans awake last night with their palsied drumming? So much for love and peace for thy neighbor. And that’s why I hate hippies. They’re full of ca ca.
January 24th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
Big E, you are an evil man! OK, not exactly a hippie joke but…What does a Deadhead say when the acid runs out? This band sucks!
January 29th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
please send a copy this letter to the Editor of the Santa Cruz Sentinel and UCSC newsletter……Thanks for the laughs
July 7th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Actually, I’m 1/2 Mohawk, lower class, I love sandalwood, don’t own a prayer flag, can keep a beat, and while you claim to be seeking understanding you are approaching the subject with preconceptions not conducive to gaining any knowledge.
July 26th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Uno mas pinchi gringo aqui! Por favor …no mas mierda de toro!