Wine Label Whores
One of the comments for my “judge a wine by its label” contribution to WBW #16 read as follows:
From Justin, “Now, I’m confused. Do lables mean something to you or don’t they? I thought I read somewhere else on this blog they mean nothing. Just provoking.”
Good question, allow me to clarify. Wine labels the likes of designer labels mean nothing to me–your Opus Ones, Insignia, Stag’s Leap, etc. To me, it’s the same as Tommy Hilfiger being in every mall in America or every middle class teenager having a Louis Vuitton purse. I don’t get why people lust after the label, it doesn’t mean anything. How prestigious can it be if every soccer mom has one? It’s all illusion and I won’t go into the herd mentality of luxury goods or Spewlator’s part in it all.
I’m talking about the wines that come to you from the big corporate companies who think they can sell it to you based soley on the fact that it got 92 points from some crotchity crotch in a magazine in which said winery spends hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in advertising. Classic case of the Emperor’s new clothes and it happens all the time. I don’t know how many times I’ve had a wine like Opus One or Caymus and been underwhelmed to the point of thinking I must be crazy. Granted, I taste a lot of wine. But that’s what makes my opinion that much less personal. When I taste, I taste for myself, but also with the thought in mind: “is this a good example of what this wine should be, at this price?” And I do taste close to everything on the market. I have a very, very good idea of what a $100 bottle of Cabernet should taste like. And if one falls short (and many do), no amount of suck ass press or free lunch can change my mind.
I don’t have any clothes with labels on the outside; it doesn’t make me feel cooler to sport Donna Karan’s initials. I don’t understand this. I don’t buy my wine that way, wither. I don’t think wine should be bought that way, i.e. as a designer label.
But that being said, design is very, very important to me. The way a label looks is a window into the winery’s soul. I truly believe this. One of the things that bugs me the most about Washington wines, for example, are the amatuerish, bad wing-ding clip art labels. They are a fucking embarassment to an industry that claims to be serious, only to be held down by a bunch of bottles that look like they belong on bar-b-que sauce at the county fair. Wait, I’ve seen better labels on jelly and bar-b-que sauce at the county fair.
So no, your desdigner label doesn’t impress me. Let me taste what’s inside the bottle and I’ll tell you how impressed I am (not). Because it doesn’t mean a thing if the wine is shite. But label design is important to me, because your clothes and your personal style do say a lot about you, regardless of who made them.
A great example: In tasting the new vintage of the Caymus Special/Reserve/Select Cabernet…I found the wine to have all the complexity and uniqueness of one of Hef’s blondes–nothing but big boobies. Especially after tasting a $20 Northern Italian Merlot that not only outshined the Caymus, but half of the overpriced 3rd growth Bordeaux I’ve tasted this year. Now, wouldn’t you–rather than spend $140 for one bottle of Caymus–have seven bottles of delicious, grapey wonder? Is the label that important to you? Hell no.
And if you ask around your friendly neighborhood wine shop, you will find someone who feels the same way I do, and they will show you the way. Because they’re just waiting for someone to ask. You can’t be in this business for long without seeing the light. Problem is, too many people want the prestigious crap, and you have to bend to them on some level. You’ve gotta get paid. But we all secretly want you to ask us about other wines that offer more for the money. Other wines, like a piece of vintage jewelry or hand-made scarf, that remind us of the infinite complexity and beauty available to us in this world, if we can just put insecurity aside long enough to reach for it.
Some other wines for the holidays:
Vietti Perbacco 2001 Nebbiolo - Should be $20 or less, all the Nebbiolo that doesn’t go into their Barolo. Usually it’s more Pinot Noir-like. This year it is a bonafide pre-pube Barolo. Great chewy tannins, classic tar and violet nose (my weakness), and beautiful stewed cherry flavor. I’m going to cellar a few…..
Nelm’s Road Merlot - ($18ish) Rick’s “second” wine is Woodward Canyon leftovers, and it still kicks the ass of half the other wines made in Washington state. This wine has back bone, depth of flavor, and an openness to enjoy now. I can’t think of many California Merlots that compete in this price range.
Paradigm Merlot - A comprimise for all you label whores. Made by Heidi Barret, of Screaming Eagle (un-explicable) fame, this label is around $50 and exhibits more terroir than most of the fancy pants bottles. If you have to give an expensive bottle of California wine to the boss man, give him this. Afraid he won’t know what it is? Include some tasting notes from online. Just Google that shit.
Arcadian Santa Maria Valley 2003 Pinot Noir - At $25, give the gift of the address, without the insanity of the prices of Siduri or other Pinot-on-steroids. Joe Davis shows that it doesn’t take a magician to make classically styled, elegant Pinot Noir in California. Just a sickly talented wine maker with an unflinching sense of quality.
Scott Paul Martha Pirrie2004 Pinot Noir - So many Oregon Pinots hover in the $30 range for no reason at all, making you wonder why their pretty yet simple strawberry flavors cost so much. This wine, at $20, is everything I wish Oregon Pinot would be, on a consistent basis–that same pretty fruit with soft layers of spice and earth and bright acidity. He should charge more, but he doesn’t.
December 16th, 2005 at 5:27 am
Wow. First off, you finished your article with a great paragraph. There is nothing like a well crafted sentence or paragraph. Very well written.
There are so many things to comment on, that I’m a bit tongue-tied.
I think you’re absolutely right about asking questions at a small wine shop. Hopefully, those people are there for a reason. In a good way.
In fact, most of the reason why we exist (as a business) is this very simple fact. Everything in our shop is chosen for A REASON. No case stacks, no merchandising. We don’t want people to just look at the merch tags, make a decision and walk out. We want to talk to them and find what it is they want and then, perhaps, we can show them something similar to what they want, but cheaper and from perhaps an entirely different place in the world. Blame it on my Dad; he was the most reluctant businessman in the world. But he managed to give about two dozen employees (and their families) a solid living while selling things at a much lower price than his competition. Not because he wanted to undercut anyone, but because he never understood the dirtiness of basic commerce.
Sorry Maggie, it’s my birthday and I’ve been ‘treated well by fellow members of my community’, so I am a ramblin’ man, for sure.
Thank you for the forum, and, as always, a solid perspective on this thing that we are experts on - that we cannot afford.
Most of my interest comes from being a person who could never really travel the world as some do (via cash, credit, or weird school scholarship), so I consider books, food and wine (spirits as well, oh yes) as an incredible vehicle for one to ’see the world’ without being fired for missing work.
December 16th, 2005 at 1:12 pm
Amen my brotha.
Especially about the part of not being able to afford it
December 16th, 2005 at 8:14 pm
Happy Birthday J.J.
You always manage to top yourself, my dear. And you are so very right. I like the comparision to fashion. THe only difference is, you can’t wear a bottle of wine 50 or 60 times. You are only paying for an hour or two of enjoyment. Wouldn’t Henry the 8th be proud?
December 17th, 2005 at 11:51 am
*One* of the reasons I resigned my retail gig (I far prefer ‘resigned’ to quit, don’t you?) was the fact that we were constantly loaded down with stack upon stack of shite juice that we had to sell down instead of turning people on to cool stuff. I led a tasting station project where I tried the public on different types of wine to see who liked what, and kept records, but it was all summarily flushed down the shitter when the word came down that we were only to sample STACK wines, and of those, the ones that had the largest margins.
What this has to do with labels, I haven’t the faintest damn idea. But thanks for letting me vent anyhoo.
Clinkies, dahlink!
December 22nd, 2005 at 9:29 am
Great post! In my brief time in retail, I was very surprised by how many folks wouldn’t buy if we didn’t have something they read about, recognized, or scored big. One fella said, “what do you have that scored a 98 or above?” After six months working there, I knew the answer: “98 according to whom?” Maggie’s right. Tell someone in a shop dedicated to wine what you like and why and you will be rewarded. We want to help, and we want to see you walk out of there with great value. We want to share. Really. Strangely enough I’ve had all of the wines recommended here, and they all share a common trait: besides for kicking ass, they drink well above their price range. Better yet, I still have some Arcadian pinot in my stash.
December 26th, 2005 at 11:36 pm
Oh, Johnny, it brings a tear to my eye to see the little wine boy all grown up..
(sniff, sniff)