I am proud(?) to say that I have an entire shelf of mustard in my refrigerator: the obvious basic yellow, stone ground, Chinese, Dijon-frenchie, and my special tarragon…that’s five right there. And that’s barely subsisting, on a mustard plane–I hoard many more.

  My pa had a jar of this Ken’s Sweet & Hot Mustard last week, when I was back in Chicago. And it’s my new very favorite thing. It’s got a tangy, vingared sweetness, with just a quick flare of heat in the middle of your tongue. I’d call it a dressed up yellow mustard. Perfect on hot dogs, leftover flank steak sandwiches, or with homemade pretzels–the ideal summer, snacking mustard. It is only available online:XXXXXXXXX, so tell them we sent you.

  I don’t like things so hot that they numb my tastebuds and keep me from tasting my food or my beer. I don’t understand that "club" of so-called foodies, and I never will. Dave’s Insanity sauce? Why? It’s like nipple clips, it sounds exciting and sexy, but it really just fucking HURTS.

  I’m comfortable in my culinary prowess: so I will share one of my favorite comfort food recipes, for homemade soft pretzels:

4+ cups All-purpose flour (sorry hippies)
1.5 cups WARM water
1 pack Yeast
1 Tbl Sugar
1 tsp Salt
Eggs for brushing dough
Coarse sea salt for decoration (no skimping)

In a mixing bowl, pour WARM water over the yeast and mix, then add sugar and salt. Add flour, about a cup at a time, until you have a fairly stiff dough(it could take as much as 5 cups and that’s OK).
Place on a floured board and knead for 5 to 10 minutes. Shape them how you want–twists, sticks, anarchy symbols, whatever. Just make sure the dough is no more than magic marker thickness.
Now brush shapes with beaten eggs and sprinkle with coarse salt. Bake in a 425 degree oven for 5 to 8 minutes, til golden. (You can test it. In my oven, I do 450 degrees for 6 minutes, so play with it)