Der Wine Snobs Muss Entwaffnen
In response to a comment on his comment about the uppity, humilty-lacking sommelier where Billie Z Cook cooks:
Oh yes, JJ, he lacks many things. But apparently that seems to aid in his success. This business you all call wine is completely f***ed up. Wine pros seem to want to keep people in the dark. Me don’t get. - Billie Z
You could just blame it on L.A. (oops! Is that OK to say that Bille? Guess I just did) But he raises an interesting point. Why are many wine people so quick to judge, scoff, and roll their eyes? Why are they not quicker still to communicate? And I’m not talking about shelf talkers.
So many wine pros focus on wine education, telling you, talking at you. But what if Suzie doesn’t want to learn about wine? What if Suzie just wants to drink wine that doesn’t suck? Can’t we talk to Suzie in her language, instead of forcing her to learn ours or getting exasperated because she doesn’t know what “phenolic” means? Why is this such a problem for us wine people?
Oh that’s easy. You see Billie, experts are experts because they know something you don’t. Now, if you started to know some of the things they know…
Well, they wouldn’t be experts now, would they? The best thing about the movie Sideways is the dead on character of Miles, as the uptight jerk who’s wine fetish seems to just be a substitute for many other short comings. If you took that away from him, what would he have? So many people like to cling to the things that make them special, subconsciously. Have you ever noticed some of the pompous people who comment on this site? I’ll try to talk about a certain wine simply, but they have to put their 2 cents in–because I left out something important, don’t you know.
No I don’t. Because I don’t think wine is important. It’s fun, delicious, and engaging. But not important. Family is important. Two hots and a roof are important. Self-reflection is important. The Golden Rule is important. But the rules of chaptilization in the Mosel-Saar-Ruwer are completely fucking irrelevant to the survival of the species. The wine people like your sommelier, Billie, don’t know what’s important. It’s important that people who dine in your restaurant are shown a good time. They shouldn’t have to have completed 200 level course work in Loire Valley wines for a reservation.
I am often shocked and awed when walking into a wine shop unannounced and incognito. Sometimes I even ask typical novice questions, just to see how the staff reacts. And it disturbs me, how often I’m treated as if I’m wasting someone’s time. That somehow, if I don’t know that Bordeaux is Cabernet and Merlot, I’m just not worth engaging. It shocks me that I would be seen as a bother in this situation, instead of being seen as a golden opportunity to initiate a new, repeat customer.
So in answer to your question, Billie: The wine business is so fucked up because people are so fucked up. Nothing makes people act weirder than things regarding status and money. Wine involves both. So those who perceive themselves as having status in the wine world are loath to relinquish it. And that’s why I love poking them with sticks.
You want a great leg up on good, different wine that’s readily available at affordable prices? You want to branch out? Try the Il Circo 6 pack from Bonny Doon. All of these wines are a celebration of weird grapes, the kind that were Mathletes in high school and grew up to own their own record store. Grab ‘em if you see them on the shelf. Or the website is offering 10$ when you buy all six online HERE. And, no, I’m not getting paid for the plug. These wines are made with a nerd-like appreciation of the strange, offer fun and interesting flavors, and will turn you on to some of the coolest grapes of which you’ve never heard. My favorite? The “La Violetta” Uva de Troia, of course.
February 21st, 2006 at 6:34 am
OMFJG, I do the exact same thing at wine stores! As a matter of fact, sometimes I don’t even have to ask a ‘novice’ question, I can ask “how is this negroamaro?” and the guy will launch into an unabreviated version of everything he knows about Italian wine, leaving out nothing, lest he fail to prove his encyclopaedic knowledge. Dude, I just asked you how it was.
February 21st, 2006 at 8:08 am
No Suzie doesn’t want to know all about Negro-whatever! (hi Taj!) Suzie doesn’t care. Suzie is NEVER helped by people in wine shops because Suzie is young. And I, I mean Suzie, always wondered why they ignore me or talk to me like I’m out of my depth in a wine shop. Shouldn’t they be happy I’m not in Trader Joe’s buying two buck chuck? You think they’d all want to show me how much better the other side is. Instead, I think I’ll go back to Trader Joe’s, cuz they’re nice, young like me, and cute 40% of the time. So tell Suzie Mr. 50 year old SUstecal commercial, why should I buy from you? Just because you’r selection’s better? Don’t think so. You make Suzie feel bad, you don’t help Suzie, or you must lecture Suzie when you do. Therefore Suzie buys cheap wine where she already shops. No extra trip for you
February 21st, 2006 at 8:54 am
Can’t type, still laughing.
I just forwarded this to the young 30ish couple that owns a wine shop near me. You will make their day. (they love you!)
February 21st, 2006 at 8:59 am
This makes sense. I always thought it was more like Gorillas In The Mist, men beating their chests whenever you asked them about an expensive wine. But It’s all about these guys NEEDING to let you know how much they know and what you don’t.
February 21st, 2006 at 9:13 am
I never feel like it’s about me when I shop for wine. Shouldn’t it be about me? I feel like it’s about them. They should all have to work in the woman’s shoe department at Nordie’s for a season. Then maybe it would be about me.
February 21st, 2006 at 9:32 am
K-Que you said a mouth full. That’s exactly how I feel. Why should I make the effort to buy better wine when they never make an effort to help me in the “better” wine stores?
February 21st, 2006 at 10:03 am
I’m young, male, and have many visible body mods. I was raised in a restaurant and know a ton about wine and food. But Maggie is the only sommelier who ever made me feel welcome. Ever! Coast to coast. That’s huge. I miss buying wine from her (yes, I actually had the distinct pleasure).
You guys read and love this site, but you have no idea. She’s the best I ever saw. She knows and she listens and she has a wicked palate. She’s so good at picking the right wine it’s spooky, or psychic.
February 21st, 2006 at 12:22 pm
Hmmmm, funny how the ladies seem to have much to say……funny.
Katie-que - Wow. You said it. All of it. So sad but true. Now imagine still being treated that way, as a peer. That’s why I got out of the wine biz. Screw blazing a trail, 85% of those guys are insufferable.
Ravi - you’ve been commenting for how long? Never knew I knew ya. Now I feel I owe you for such kind words. Truly, I blush. Drop a line, refresh my memory.
brenda - what a brilliant idea. I can see it now, if they love smelling “barnyard” so much….
February 21st, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Great, great post. I guess I’m a very niave person. I will never understand why ANYBODY would try to make ANYBODY feel inferior about ANYTHING. One should become an expert so one can SHARE. How can you serve someone if you don’t have a GENEROUSITY OF SPIRIT? Katie-que, I loved, loved, loved customers like you when I, yes, worked for Maggie. Turning people on to cool things is the best part of the job. And yeah, Maggie’s the best. I learned a ton from her in a very short time.
I was gonna whine about not being able to get that Monferrato Rossa around here, but I guess I’ll just uncork - er - unscrew another Uva di Troia.
February 21st, 2006 at 4:36 pm
One of the main reasons we had to set up our own shop was because people kept asking why we didn’t have our own shop (money, duh).
One of my only talents is the thing that Ravi described before about Maggie making him feel comfortable with wine.
I am a white male, but even when I was a 25-year old sommelier at a famous restaurant, people still thought I was the busboy when they would ask to speak to the ‘man’.
I can hardly imagine how much harder it would have been if I was a woman.
There are clearly two separate worlds in wine. And yet it is a shame, because divisiveness only brings you down (hello, Democrats!).
Major props to M. regarding what’s actually important. Sophistication is a byproduct of evolution, but it is not survival.
February 23rd, 2006 at 3:49 am
Why are you people making me feel so inferior for not knowing Maggie? Just kidding, I work in wine in Ireland, a traditionally very small market, now growing exponentially. That traditional core can be riddled with these snobiferous rudentia. But now there are so many more who just want a good bottle with a little vital information, that my job is far more about people skills than oenological extrapulation….oops! I meant “…than guff”.
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:57 am
JM - Oh you gentle soul, you. You were so good, because of that wide-eyed enthusiasm. Don’t ever lose it. No matter how many 16% bottles of glob surround you.
JJ - I still am so bummed I keep missing you when I’m in Portland. Must stay longer next time to visit the shop.
Aus - I am jealous. With so many new consumers, those snotty old farts’ll be outnumbered in no time. And you can be their Pied Piper….Lucky!