Bum Wine: The truth is often said in jest, ingesting shit like bum wine
I found the following site through my
friends at thinkwine.com:
Not only did I laugh, but it made me think.
What useful purpose do any of these wines–the Nighttrains, MD 20/20, or Wild Rose–serve?
None. They are the crack cocaine of alcoholic beverages. They are made by "the man" to sell to the socio-economically challenged.
bumwine.com lists the makers of each of the main offenders, but below is a list that goes a step farther. I’ve included the other brands of these companies, the grossest being E & J Gallo, Canandaigua, and Mogen David.
Many of the other brands these wine factories sell are grocery store fodder. THAT is why I’m against most grocery brands. To keep the prices down on those wines, companies like those above are usually making more heinous "jug wines" or fortified wines. So stick it to the man and don’t buy these brands:
The Wine Group, makers of MD 20/20, also makers of:
Franzia, Corbett Canyon, Foxhorn, Tribuno, Mogen David, Glen Ellen, MG Vallejo, Vinergy, Morassutti, Austin Vale(Australia)
E & J Gallo, makers of Night Train & Thunderbird:
Anything with the name Gallo on it, Anapamu, Bridlewood, Frei Brothers, Indigo Hills, Louis M. Martini, MacMurray Ranch, Marcelina Vineyards, Mirassou, Napa Valley Vineyards, Rancho Zabaco, Turning Leaf, Bella Serra, Black Swan, Da VINCI Chianti, Ecco Domani, McWilliams Hanwood Estate, Red Bicyclette, Whitehaven, Redwood Creek, Gossamer Bay, Livingston Cellars, Carlo Rossi, Peter Vella, Wild Vines, Burlwood, Copperidge, Liberty Creek, William Wycliff, Tott’s, Ballatore, Andre sparkling, and E & J brandies. Geezus, that’s a long list.
Canandaigua, makers of Cisco & Wild Irish Rose:
Arbor Mist (if you’re buying this–you’ve got bigger problems), Paul Masson, Cribari, Taylor desserts(not to be confused with Taylor Fladgate), Cook’s sparkling, Manischewitz, Alice White, Monkey Bay, Inglenook, Almaden, Nathanson Creek, Vendange, La Terre, Ste. Chapelle of Idaho, Covey Run, Papio, Talus Collection, Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi, Turner Road Vineyards, Robert Mondavi Private Selection
Unless you’ve been smoking for 50 years and are clinging to one taste bud and no nasal cilia whatsoever, you have no business drinking most of these wines ANYWAY. Only a few are somewhat reputable. But it shows a very deep root system underneath the giant fucking weed of fortified wines.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a got a Bouchard Valreas Cotes du Rhone Villages (a $12 diamond in the ruff that drinks like $30) to go glug. I will remove the paper bag first.
I can’t wait til the next time the Gallo rep comes in. I’m going to ask him about Night Train. Maybe I’ll even record the response. I’ve wanted to try pod casting. Then you could hear all the bullshit I hear, all day long from these guys.
**since this has been published, Mondavi Corp. has been gobbled up by bigger fish Constellation Brands. Life’s a bitch, Bob.
September 24th, 2007 at 9:59 am
You sir are mentally challenged. Just because these wines are made for the so called “socio-economically challenged” doesn’t mean that they don’t like ‘em… And what do you expect someone making 5.25 an hour is going to go do? Spend $30+ on a bottle of wine just to get blotto? You sir need to reevaluate your bourgeois tendencies.
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November 14th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
It’s business. E & J Gallo Winery brands are respectable. Regardless of the price point, Gallo wines are made for quality. Even with brands like the ones listed above, the quality of wine is appreciated around the world. Count the trophies. I hope you did all of your homework, Gallo also owns brands with price points in the hundreds. Gallo is business with a great range of product available to everyone.
December 1st, 2007 at 1:39 am
I purchased two 1.5L of Foxhorn American Cabernet Souvignon, and I am very disappointed. The only way that I can describe the taste is that it is super weird.
December 2nd, 2007 at 6:34 pm
I am trying to find some-one that can tell me where I can find out how much a bottle of un-opened 35 yr. old bottle of night train would be worth. if you can help contact me at same e-mail
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I am what some would call a “bum”. I am homeless around fifty percent of the time and the other part I spend crashing on the couches of people I meet at underground shows and co-op gatherings. I’m currently at the library (closing in ten minutes) reading this. I love all of the wines listed above, they make great morning and daytime drinks. But let me point out that the going price for two fifths (which is at least the amount any respectable homeless drinker would need to get goon and drunk) of the aforementioned wines is the same as a liter of rotgut whiskey or cheap vodka, which is alot more potent and unhealthy. How come I never hear of Corby’s or Fleischmann’s getting a bad rap for trying to kill off us bums?
June 28th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
@ Dennis:
I’d pay $15 for it.
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
You People really have no grip on reality. I opened a $700.00 bottle of wine recently and still like EJ Hearty Burgundy. I am sure most of you PINHEADS are still in the incubator stage of trying impress someone. SWC
March 9th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I once had a cheap wine tasting party and it was a blast! People got the chance to try wines they would never intentionally buy but were curious about. My favorite was Boones Far Apple Wine!
February 24th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Night Train Rules! Even the new logo with a 1930s style streamliner is great. If you get sick on Night Train, you can`t handle it.