God, you people are sick. All the complimentary emails, and all you want to know is…
So you want more gross out stories? Do you? Do you really, punk? I got stories.

Try this on for size:

When I worked at a 5 Diamond hotel on-call, we used to complain to management all the time about the laundry. They didn’t seperate the room bedsheets from the banquet table clothes and napkins. They wouldn’t budge, because of costs. Management said, I swear to god, this was their actual response: technically no scabbies or other infestation could possibly withstand all the chemicals used to keep everything white, or the high heat of the dryers. Did I mention this was a 5 diamond hotel? (you don’t get any more rocks than that)
But that’s not the gross part. See, our concern as waiters wasn’t the crabs (though, it added to the pile). It was all the short and curlies. It was so bad that we even had a special napkin fold for the high society events, a variation of the classic fleur-de-lis, we liked to call "pubes out."
There, ya sickos. Are you happy? I got a million more, but you’ll have to buy the freakin book.

COMMENT:
AUTHOR: linked
EMAIL:
IP: 63.78.88.140
URL:
DATE: 02/08/2005 08:21:36 AM
So, you want to be a food writers but food editors deem you too “edgy”?

Well… to me it seems that you just don’t write very well as of now. You sure have strong opinions, but you allow your personality, which to most readers is far less interesting than the subjet matter (food, wine) to dominate your writing to an excessive degree. Unfortunately, you don’t quite have the charm of, say, Anthony Bourdain to pull it off successfully (and many think that Bourdain is obnoxious anyway; I personally sorta like him.) Anyway, the swagger thing’s been done.

So try to be act a bit less like a punk rockin’ babe playing at food writer, and more like a writer, and maybe you’ll get somewhere.

This $.02 comes to you absolutely free, courtesy of The Internets.