Garbage in, garbage out, right? Well… Often times I’m opening a bottle of wine in the beginning of the week to review or sample for a client. By the time I want to drink wine, like tonight, that bottle is shite. This bottle was a very lovely tart, surly thing to begin with; so past its prime it’s down right rude.

If I wanted to make like a Spanish teenager, I’d just add some brandy and Sprite and call it a day, but I want to make something better than what I’d chug out of a 1-liter in the plaza. If you stock your fridge and bar with just a few choice items, you can revive even the nastiest bottle of wine. My closest thing to a recipe tonight:

An almost full bottle of tart white wine
A healthy shot of Drambuie
4 ounces homemade spicy chai
A few dashes of orange flower water
1/2 ounce of homemade orgeat syrup
Splash of lime juice

At the last minute I topped each glass off with bubbly, but you could use sparkling water or lemon lime soda. You could add more brandy, too. I mix everything in a growler so I can spin it around, try it, and add more of what I think is missing–be it sweet, sour, or oomph. The result tonight was an insanely aromatic wine-like substance along the lines of a sweet, white vermouth. Shitfire I think I just found my calling in life.

On to the rock show.