So this lady stomps behind our kitchen today to reprimand us. God, I felt like I was eight for about two seconds. She’s all, “I saw what you just did…” “I work for the FDA…” “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”

What I shoulda said: It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want.
What I actually said: Really. That’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen? So you don’t eat out?

Wanna know what we were doing? We had just made cookie dough, and the chef (who was wearing gloves) took off a piece and split it with me. Perfectly on the up and up, totally proper handling since this wasn’t ready to serve food. This ray of sunshine works for the FDA so, what, she can tell us the recommended daily allowance of the peanut butter cookie dough we were eating? And this is the grossest thing she’s ever seen?

Lady, the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in a kitchen makes me physically and mentally shut down when I think about it.

The 38th grossest thing I’ve ever seen? I just puked a little bit in my mouth.

The 75th grossest thing I’ve ever seen would not be allowed on the air by the FCC.

I’ll tell you the 138th grossest thing I’ve ever seen: A high society auction. Real fancy schmancy stuff. Body guards, rented jewels, wives and mistresses. One table was beyond bad attitude. They treated the waiters like dogs. If only they knew the saying about bees and honey… For that night their waiters were the most notorious of the fucker-withers on the staff. The soup was a crab bisque. Moral of the story? Never eat the cream sauce at a Republican fundraiser.

Stuff that kicked ass today:

Domaine la Berangerie Cuvee Juline Cahors  -  a Weygandt selection, around $15, rich fruit, not as gritty as it can be. This wine from the Malbec grape has the silky rich fruit known to the area, great minerality, and an acidity that sets this grape apart from Cabernet. SO much better with your meal than the average Cab.

Lagunitis Brown Shugga  -  It’s not really an amber. It’s not exactly Belgian style. But it is dark brown with rich, complex, malty goodness, but with a hoppy side, too. If you like winter ales but hate christmassy spice–this is your bag. (and it’s 9.9% alcohol–that’s the kick ass part)

Produttori del Barbaresco 1993 Barbaresco  -  Oh, it was a shitty year? It’s still a bit stand offish, but this ice queen is melting my heart. The problem with trashing or touting a vintage is that it takes a long time to prove right, or in this case wrong. Tangy red fruit, a bit of tarry funk, very aromatic, and lip-smacking delicious.