Create Your Own Stupid Job Title
I’ve been getting emails from everyone about what job they would like to hold for Starbuck’s.
Taj - You’re hired. You get to be Director of Muffin flavors. We’ll hire a part time consultant for scones. You’ll have your own focus group, of course.
Beau is Executive Vice President of Italian Sounding Thingies (very important, hence a board level position). His first task is to come up with a shnazzy sounding name for the new 64 ounce size frappacino that will mandate installing defribulators in all area stores.
And I’ll be Chief Evangelist of Mission-Critical Portal Deployment, having worked my way up from sandwich artist, to see that in the next phase of the space race, Starbuck’s is on the business end of every wormhole.
Go to this Job Title Generator at dithered.com to come up with the title of all your secret desires. Then comment here.
Last night was my friend Darryn’s 30th birthday, and boy did we drink some good shite. My favorite was the Godme Rose de Champagne. God, those bubbles kill! If you wanna do Champagne, you will get every single penny’s worth: rich texture, a complex nose that I swore came from age (no, just superiority), and a creamy, tart finish that would not leave. (imorted by Becky Wasserman, of whose sublime products I have spoken many, many times.)
Funny, get a bunch of wine people together and what did we drink? White mostly. Old Riesling, Champagne, Loire Valley, oh and Barbaresco (which is just a white wine trapped in a red’s body). Those are only, like, 4 of my top 5 favorite wine categories. And I’m not the only one. I think it’s because after years of working in this business, these are the kind of wines that continue to get it up for you. Even an 82 Bordeaux possessed of something just short of divinity can seem…expected. Like Nicole Kidman on the red carpet. Gorgeous and just so. She’s no Selma Hayek. But with some of the wines I mentioned above, you learn to know when you can expect exquisite craftmanship, but as to how that comes out in the wine? A complete, balls out surprise in every bottle. And a magnum of 93 Produttori del Barbaresco or a Dunnhoff 02 Niederhauser Hermannshohle Riesling Spatlese helps rekindle that spark for wine everytime.
November 16th, 2005 at 4:21 pm
Chief Enthusiast of Strategic Logic Optimization
that’s the title of the guy Bush needs to hire right now.
November 16th, 2005 at 8:26 pm
I’m Lead Architect of Organic Back-end Partnerships. tee hee hee.
November 16th, 2005 at 8:28 pm
May I be Chief of Milky Operations?
November 16th, 2005 at 8:47 pm
degenerates.
I’ll be sure to include more poop jokes for the two of yas.
November 17th, 2005 at 9:51 am
Whoa, that’s way too fun. But, Mag, as you know, I have some personal experience with Sbux. So I’d like to be Director of Predatory Acquisition. If I don’t qualify for that I’ll shoot for VP of Fucking Over Small Companies.
November 17th, 2005 at 11:17 am
I sense a story JM….which small company of yours got it? I want to be Director of whipped cream operations. That way, I can tell all the people who get half-caff, non-fat venti carmel mochas……..DON’T GET WHIPPED CREAM!!!!! It’s my calling.
November 17th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
Bless me for I have sinned.
It’s been two weeks since my last pumpkin spice latte. But I was flying, in an airport, what other choice did I have! Please you have to believe me.
November 17th, 2005 at 2:58 pm
Mission Accomplished. Or should I say “La Missione Ha compiuto!”
The new 64 oz Frappucino shall now be officially known as (drumroll)
“Frapp Grasso Mumu”
Frapp – as in frappucino
Grasso – as in Italian for fat
Mumu – as in this is what ya’ll will be wearing if you keep drinking 64oz Frappucinos!!!
November 17th, 2005 at 5:30 pm
thanks for the hurtin’ you guys put on me on tuesday. the wines were amazing, especially the donhoff. and the produtori. and the godme. and the white burg. and the gruner. and and and
November 17th, 2005 at 5:32 pm
oh, and i want to be the guy that pics out the crappy music for sbux. you know, the stuff for people who want to act like they know the good stuff, but have never been to a real record shop?
March 19th, 2006 at 5:41 am
order cheapest Tenuate pill
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The Wine Offensive &ra……