OK, no a finger in your ear doesn’t help you when smelling wine. And yes, I liked Sideways. But loved it? Best movie of the year? Isn’t that a little much? It’s quaint, a little movie about two fucked up middle aged white guys–one guy is  a total schlub and the other is going through a pretty lame midlife crisis.

Maybe I’ve just waited on too many guys like this to find them the least bit compelling. I can’t tell you how many guys like Paul Giamatti’s character try to suck me into banal conversations about wine.

And I can’t even begin to count how many guys I’ve had tossed out of a bar that were like his obnoxious friend. Guys like that don’t end up with the hot chick in the real world, unless their residual checks are mega-huge. They usually end up limp and leathery, hanging out two drinks too long, trying to make friends happen with tips. We call them bread and butter (a phrase I lifted from the hookers that worked my bars).

The best thing about the movie are all of the other characters in the wine business, like Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen. Those are the people worth knowing. And the scene in the Fess Parker winery (that’s the shot where he drinks out of the spit bucket) is great–it’s like wine purgatory.

Wines worth knowing:

Coppola Rubicon 2000 - I’d like to give most c-note plus California Cabs the collective bird. For arrogance, mainly. But this is one of my exceptions (along with Montelena, Robert Foley, and Chappelet). Francis is as maniacal a winery owner as he is a director. This one has a gawgeous nose (think Margaux West). Plush and girly.

and while we’re at it . . . Sofia Blanc de blancs in a can is the greatest thing ever. Pommery started the whole small bottle/straw thing with POP, then Coppola took it a step farther. Pinot Blanc, Sauv Blanc, and Muscat make this very much like a Prosecco, lighter and softer, VERY sippable, especially out of a little red can, and with a cute little bendy straw to boot. Handy. I’m not advocating anything illegal, but they sure do look like an energy drink.