I don’t have many comments on my website, but man o man am I getting email. Especially regarding my post alluding to nefarious waiter sabotage. A lot of people wanted to know where it is safe to eat and what makes you a target.

Do you really want me to answer that? I mean, you should see me when I go out to eat. I only touch menus with my knuckles, I carry wet wipes, I’m a step away from bringing my own silverware. But I guess after years in the business, mostly I’m like those moms that eat food their kids dropped on the floor. I just try, like bloody hell, not to think about it too much. But some things I can’t shake.

First off, I can only think of 2 people who can eat out with impunity: Anthony Bourdain and Chuck Palahniuk. No-wait-three, add Kofi Annan to the list. The rest off us? It’s a culinary crap shoot.

And I do have some basic rules for you. I feel a hell of a lot more comfortable eating or drinking where I know some of the staff. I hate open kitchens, but they ease my nerves. I never eat bay shrimp. I do not eat buffet or banquet food. Ever. Anywhere. Seriously, never. I promise to post my breakfast manifesto sometime soon; it’s a novella. Lots of rules, Kitchen Confidential didn’t even scratch the surface.

My big rule: I avoid things I think are "held." In a restaurant, sauces and such are pre-made and then held at a certain temp, ready to serve. This is the A #1 / Ichiban cause of food poisoning (foods being in the temperature danger zone for bacteria). Public enemies 1 and 2 are rice and beans.

I also stay away from restaurant chains. Mainly because I think of them as waiter jail and feel anyone that has to wear 25 buttons on their person for fear of losing their job has a lot of anger to misplace.

But I’ll always stop at roadside taco stands. I break my own rules all the time. I’m way more adventurous outside of this country than in it. There is absolutely no logic to that, but it’s served me well.