Wanna know the top searches last month on Google that lead people to The Wine Offensive?
Too bad! It’s nice to see that Google works, and Google doesn’t work, often with hilarious results.

Here they are:

10.) mad housewife wine – Blech. Refers to my post about chick wines. I only hope by coming to this site I unsold a bottle or twelve.

9.) 3400 Phinney – Probably a bunch of people with major ants in their pants, like I, waiting for Theo Chocolate to fully launch ALREADY!!! We want it, need it, and love it. Now give it to us!

8.) the wine offensive – hey! that’s me!

7.) drunk famous people - If you combined this with people searching “kiefer sutherland drunk,” it’d be screamin’ up the all-time chart, just a musing on what is and isn’t cool, when waiting on drunk people, who are also famous.

6.) sicilian hot blooded - Do you think they’re happy finding my recipe for chickpea panelle? Hmmm, probably not.

5.) vaginal bread - THat old chesnut! Maybe they are happy to find my link to Toi Sennhauser’s art site….

4.) don’t hate the player hate the game - I’m quite surer most of these folks didn’t want to read me ripping into Parker yet one more time.

3.) alice in chains review - I refuse to have one more debate on whether it is or isn’t OK. Here was my non-review of the Seattle show.

2.) the grossest thing i’ve ever seen - This post’s like The DaVinci Code, ain’t never coming off the top 5. But I’m quite sure this is how 75% of our line cook friends found this site.

and the number one Googled term leading you to The Wine Offensive…

1.) gulab jamun recipe - Oh, was that a let down? Also one of the top search terms of all time on this site. Who knew so many crave sugary, fried Indian balls.

I get a million piddly hits from people searching all sorts of thing about specific wines or wine topics. But the top ten, nay twenty, are rarely ever about wine. And that makes me happy. In a wierd sorta way. Because wine is what you drink while you talk about other stuff.