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Hey! I Forgot to Tell You A Few Things…


Sorry, I forgot to tell you can’t buy Big House Red anymore. Or Cardinal Zin. Nope, none of that either. Bonny Doon sold off all inventory and grape contracts along with the brands to Underdog Wine Merchants. That’s just another euphamism for The Wine Group, who sells you such hits as Franzia, Glen Ellen, and Mogen David.

I thought Big House Red, as made by Grahm in Doonland, was one of the best of the widely available wines on the market. But according to the press release, Grahm says these wines were choking Bonny Doon’s resources. For Doon to maintain their mission and focus, they had to let the brands go. So I’m switching my recommendation of these wine Davids to my blacklist; since they have now been assimilated by a wine Goliath.

Shouldn’t take long for the U-Dog to fuck them up. Profitability, blah, blah, blah, brand expansion, yadda, yadda… They’ll probably only cut it with a little Central Valley skank grape, though. Wouldn’t want to do anything shady, right? Riiiiiight.

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Oh! And I forgot to tell you that 2003 called, and it wants its Mojito back. My article in the Seattle Weekly born of frustration for a craze that just won’t die and pisses off every bartender I know.

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In other news, Google just launched one bad-ass, ONLINE word processor. I’m just talkin’ bout Writely. Be patient as it’s only beta. But here’s the kicker… you can save your documents as a PD mother F. You can even keep them online and edit them from anywhere. Amen and praise be to Google, our new benevolent overloards.


8 Responses to “Hey! I Forgot to Tell You A Few Things…”

  1. robo boe boe Says:

    Bwah ha ha!!! Mojitos fucking suck. I love how the people who order them are the same people who look at you like, hurry up. Duh, those stupid drinks take TIME. Everyone suffers. And once middle aged yuppies start ordering them, they AR NOT COOL ANYMORE!!!

    You know what’s cool? A shot of bourbon. I know that you know that. Thanks for dissing Franzia, Microsoft, and stupid drink trends all in one post.

  2. eclectica Says:

    1. That sucks. I like the big house.

    2. Bout time somebody stood up against the tyrrany of lifestyle mags. It’s all their fault. No I have to hear about it all night… “Can you make mojitos? Ooh! Have you ever had a mojito? I love mojitos, I’ve been drinking them since we went to ….aHhHhH!” Every retard thinks they’re on the cutting edge. Uh that edge was, like, 5 years ago. BCBG is not high fashion. And your hair is just a regurgitation of the Rachel. Now just go back to drinking appletinis because at least I didn’t have to muddle them!

    3. Cool, but still beta, not many options.

  3. Jameson Says:

    The worst thing about mojitos is when you are at a bar and you just want a beer and you are stuck waiting for a bartender muddling 5,000 mojitos. All I want is a beer! A simple transaction! There should be a “Beer Only” express line to prevent this.

  4. Maggie Says:

    Jameson, right on. I hate going to events where someone decided the mojito would be a cool drink special. It ties the bartender up, decreasing productivity, and ERGO profit. And don’t even get me started on muddling. Suffice to say, very few bartenders do it right.

  5. Chambolle Says:

    Underdog Wine Merchants? I never quite got that. Ironic? Creepy-we-know-we’re-huge-but-we’re-going-to-call-ourselves-the-Underdogs-just-to-spite-you kind of thing? Me no comprendo the corporate thinky-think.

  6. Art Says:

    I hear that Randall Graham (Boony Doon) is moving operations to the Columbia Valley. I’m not sure exactly where or when, but maybe he will “focus” on making some interesting wines again.

  7. teacup Says:

    1. damn, I was wondering what the hell was going on with this sub-par big house red I found. My receipt says bonny doon, but the wine is not.

    2. I feel your pain. There is this awesome little cuban restaurant in pasadena I used to go to in the late 90’s early 00’s and it had awesome mojitos, I still get them when I go there, but can’t stand it when I see people ordering them up at a bar. Keep your margaritas at the mexican restaurant and your mojitos at the cuban place. If you want a mixed drink why don’t you try and old fashioned.

  8. Bartending For Fun And Profit. | 7Wins.eu Says:

    […] […]

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