Oh, did I tell you I was being sued? Well, I was. It’s been a nut in my muffin for months, but it’s all settled now. Turns out my Spidey senses in regards to the nefarious boob, er plaintiff, were dead on. Never try to cheat a Sicilian.

So I celebrated by treating myself to a pedicure and a new dress, vintage of course. I’ve got a bet going: I’m not buying any new clothing or accessories this year; all must be second hand. It’s an Adbusters/pyramid scheme/chain mail kinda thing. So far it’s been trés simple.

Then I shuffled my twinkle toes over to the 6th Annual This Is Burlesque at The Heavens, a terrible new bridge & tunnel club that used to be the EXCELLENT, fetish, goth, “no really, come as you are” club The Catwalk. My hubbie’s got a new band that’s part of Orchestra Le Pow, a part lounge act, part burlesque show. Yeah, I know, he’s a renaissance kind of guy.

I was so excited to see more than a few flasks in the audience. (Have you seen those totally cute 1 1/2 ouncers that look like little silver clip on grenades???) Did I? Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But you can’t fault a girl for not being satisfied with a watery, sweet & sour premix and Christian Brothers brandy, can you? For there is no acceptible substitute for Metaxa, malaka.

The show was fantastic. And the burlesque scene certainly is getting funner by the minute in Seattle. My highlights were: Miss Indigo Blue’s performance to the old tune, Elephant Walk, that defies description or competition. One pleasingly plump performer’s foregoing of the fluttering feather fans for two extra large frozen pizza boxes. Mademoiselle, you are effin hot! And Caleb, Le Pow’s emcee, and the band’s rendition of Screamin Jay Hawkins’ I Put A Spell On You. I realized one thing, though: there is only one absolute rule to burlesque: REAL BOOBS on REAL WOMEN. Cuz if they can’t do the wigglin’ and gigglin’… what good are they?

If you want to know more about the burlesque shows in Seattle, visit the My Space page of The Swedish Housewife, who is also la grande dame and torch singer of Le Pow.