…so the tapeworm sticks his head out of the guy’s ass and says, “Hey! Where’s my lemon cookie?” And the doctor hits him with a mallet.

But seriously, tonight Stephen Colbert will emcee the annual correspondents dinner at the White House. Joe Wilson and his outed CIA agent wife Valerie Plame will attend (awkward). I will be scanning for any and all clips and YouTube nuggets. It’s going to be goooooooood. If you ever get the chance to attend such a party, remember kids: never eat the cream sauce at a republican event or fundraiser.

I hit the Sauvignon Blanc hard this time of year. I don’t often have the funds to partake, but I find Sancerre one of the most beautiful whites in the world, this 2004 Domaine Vacheron (imported by North Berkeley Imports, $21) in particular. I like thirst quenching whites. I know that’s a base term when it comes to wine, but no less apropos. 2004 in Sancerre was a more typical year than the 2003 vintage which produced uncharacteristic fruit bombs from this chilly, fringe region.

What’s typical? Sancerre should smell and taste like high acid fruit: grapefruit, green apples, or lime. It should smell minerally–like wet stones, chalk, flint or celery. (This is a good thing, trust me. LIMEstone soils cause this.) This wine tastes of pink grapefruit when you first sip it, then causes the back of your mouth to water from its acidity. Wine words to describe it: bright, racey, clean, mineral-laced.

A wine like this goes best with foods that have acid, but it can balance out rich food too. It all depends on whether you go for matching or contrasting. Think goat cheese or a lemon caper sauce on one hand, or buttery scallops and cream soups on the other. I think it goes best with my patio. And tonight I drank mine with some ponzu marinated black cod, coconut rice, and apsaragus. Some winos will go on and on about asparagus being a wine killer, but when the juice is this perky, I never notice.

Coconut rice: Jasmine brown rice works best, adds extra fragrance, and brown is better for you, too. In a rice cooker, make rice same as you ever did. Add some coconut milk half way through to avoid a crusty bottom. When rice is done, add more. (about a half a can total). I chop up some basil and add lemon pepper to complete the aromatic assault. Grilled or bar-b-que chicken, pan-seared or baked fish… this side dish is a tasty universal donor.