So, I’m super sick, probably from all that high fiving this weekend. I don’t normally high five, for personal and sanitary reasons, but when a kid is carrying a sign saying, “Thanks for walking for my mom!” yeah, I think I slap the little guy some skin.

Sooo I’m browsing food sections this morning and I see the Seattle P-I’s pick of the week is a $17 Valpolicella, and it hits me. I have my first old moment, because in my brain Valpolicella DOES NOT cost $17. No offense, Allegrini.

Here are other things in my brain of which I’m having a hard time letting go:

2.) Prosecco CAN’T cost more than $12.
3.) A bottle of straight up Chianti (no “Classico”) is $10.
4.) Spanish wine gives the best value.

In answer to my inner Mrs. Bitterman, I will now do the following:

Find out what the other Valpolicellas are running, probably cry.
2.) Look for the cheapest Cremant de Anything I can find.
3.) Head south for Salice Salentinos and Sicilians, plenty still for $10.
4.) Nope, that one’s still true.

I have to wonder, are all these prices due to the Euro’s position to the dollar? Or are companies having to spend more on brand presence and marketing in a crowded market and therefore charge more in order to sell more? I know that last sentence doesn’t make sense, but neither does the wine business.

In a time when our financial markets ARE FUCKING FALLING APART, you’d think most wineries could have the sense god gave a fucking goat to keep their entry level products at a stable, low price. I’m no marketing genius, but I do know that the person that buys a $17 bottle of wine is not the person that buys a $14.99 bottle of wine is not the person that buys a $10 bottle of wine.

Uh, last I checked, most Americans don’t view wine as a staple. I’d love to see a winery like Allegrini, or some Chianti maker, take their entry level wine and but it in a 1 liter box or tetra pack and charge $10 or less. That winery would be smart. That winery would make a killing.

Oh wait, somebody already does.