I always hear wine people go on and on about getting to taste “in barrel,” as in before bottling. Since this is is necessarily done at the winery, it has some mystique, and sounds like you got to do something special. But this is where a wine goes through any number of awkward phases. It’s kinda like wine puberty. And everyone knows I hate teenagers; so I’ve never seen the appeal. Yeah, I know, this is my job and I should be learning, but who wants a mouth full of sulphur? Just bottle it and I’ll wait.

The other day, after a Terry Theise German and Austrian wine tasting, my chef friend Chris and I had our own “bottle tasting.” As in, straight out of the. It’s so sad after a tasting, when 50 bottles of grade A prime white wine linger, with only a glass or so of wine left in there skinny green bodies. We decided to liberate a few before marching them to the sink. Here’s my notes:

SCHLOSSGUT DIEL - The big mutha-sucka of the Nahe. This label is beloved by all wine nerds.

The 2005 Rosé de Diel, a 100% Pinot Noir that tastes like Champagne without the bubbles, is new to the market. (note: this is what I always long for rosé to taste like.) Tart, fresh strawberry that manages to be crisp in all the right places and still feel rich. This wine deserves only the perfect specimens from the garden.

The 2005 Diel de Diel, blend of Pinot Gris and Pinot Blanc, with Riesling, just made me raise my eyebrows and say, “ooooooooh.” It has all the rich flavor of an Alsace Pinot Gris, with the high notes of pear and cooler fruit from the Pinot Blanc, and the Riesling adds a splash of vibrancy and awesome aromatics. It tasted like a high-class Northern Italian, to me. I want to take this wine to the farmers’ market and let it pick out my dinner.

MINGES - big sigh, The wines of Theo Minges rock my world for many reasons. I love Pfalz, the area west and south of Franfurt that doesn’t get as much attention from wine snots but makes wines known for aromatic complexity. Pfalz wines always held a place on any of my wine lists. They sing with many kinds of food, show great style upon release, and I love value.

While you discuss the Mosel and your gold caps, I’d rather suck back some 2005 Minges Gleisweiler Hölle Scheurebe Spätlese. Scheurebe is wierd and wonderful. Sometimes it can come off like a more flowery smelling Sauvignon Blanc, and sometimes it doubles for an off-dry Pinot Gris. This one is smack in between. Pretty herbal aroma and a tease of sweet that slaps you awake when it turns dry on the finish.

DARTING is another of my Pfalz favorites and probably one of the most affordable ways you could jump into German wine. Regardless of price or grape, these wines miraculously are always excellent examples of type.

2005 Dürkheimer Fronhof Riesling Kabinett Trocken - All you need to know? Dry Riesling. It’s got your minerals and your spicy, and your juicy flavor, and when you add it all up it was the best of the affordable Kabinett Rieslings.

2005 Dürkheimer Feuerberg Portugieser Weissherbst - In a 1.0 liter… oh yeah. Don’t blame you if this string of words is meaningless. Blauer Portugieser is a red grape from Austria. Weissherbst means “white harvest” and is a term used to indicate rosé wines. What, you were expecting a dry, herby white from a Portugese grape? That is fucked up, you say? Yes, it is. But I have long given up on trying to figure out why the Germans are so determined to NOT sell their wine. Allow me to help them sell this one: it is one of the most delightfully zingy, pinky-fruity rosés I’ve had this year. Germany: bitte! Sehr gut.

Ooh! I just had the human equivalent of a catnip mouse waved in my face: a lemongrass flank steak sandwich from Baguette Box. Part two in a few… I smell truffle fries, and immediately get stupid.