For this article I peeped into 37 different bars, from clubs to restaurant annexes, and 32 of them had a bottle of Galliano on display. Only seven bartenders, when asked, had any idea what to do with it. (Rant follows.)

Galliano, The Long, Tall Sipper
in this issue of the Seattle Weekly

Nothing pisses me off more than to sit at a pretty, well-stocked bar, then look at a drink menu and find nothing but vodka and fruit, and maybe a renegade herb. It says the place wants to garner respect; why, look at all the Scotch! (My what a big back bar you have…) But they don’t respect you.

Playing to the lowest common denominator among drinkers helps no one. It just perpetuates mediocrity. Your number one job as a bartender is to tune in to your customers, turn them on to something new, and get them to drop their usual habit in favor of a seat at your show.

Can I trust you if not one of your specialty drinks involve something brown? I’m not saying a basil lemon drop isn’t tasty, just lazy. Like wasabi mashed potatoes or pomegranate vinaigrette, they’re the upscale mall way to gourmet it up. Not that there’s any wrong with that. Just don’t delude you’re into thinking you’re so clever. I see through you, and I can do that at home.

If you want me to pay more than $8 for a drink, I want to see some fucking effort, and a little ingenuity. You can start by taking all of those liqueur bottles to second base. And next time I ask you what you like to do with Galliano, I expect a very good answer.