On Friday, I went to the Louis/Dressner Selections Vignerons Attack! Real Wine Assault tasting. 15 different French wineries and their owners and/or winemakers, and over 50 delightfully balanced wines from the Loire Valley and beyond.

Wines from the Louis/Dressner catalog are made by natural means: hand harvesting, the most ecologically sound viticulture, wild yeasts… These people are farmers. They take pride in the uniqueness of what their particular plot of land has to offer. Buying wines from this catalog is like buying heirloom tomatoes. While “heirloom” bespeaks of a certain quality and integrity, no two are ever the same.

I did something I rarely do, I tasted every single wine. And when I left, my palate was as fresh as a daisy. That’s one of the highest compliments I can give as a taster. Normally, after sampling this many whites, reds, and sweets at a tasting, my mouth would be wrecked. But these beauties were, one and all, food wines. Ah yes, that ubiquitous term that we winos like to throw around.

To me, a “food wine” has the following qualities:

Acidity - Like lemon juice or balsamic vinegar, a wine with acidity refreshes your mouth and brings out flavors of the food.

Lower-alcohol - Alcohol deadens the palate. Wines with too much of it over-stimulate the tongue, create the sensation of heat, and–just like a dish that’s too hot & spicy–rob food of any depth of flavor. 14.9%abv? Blech. I shoot for around 12.5% to 13%.

Balance - Like a good sauce, you need more than a single note. Even grape juice is sweet AND tannic (mouth-drying). You should expect at least that much from WINE. Right?

Subtlety - that’s, S-U-B-T-L-E-T-Y. I subscribe to the Italian rule of wine. Wine is always PART of an experience, not the end all be all. It should know it’s place is to serve a meal, serve your guests, serve the occasion, serve the conversation. The wine is nothing, without the context.

Yeah, so….these wines? They had all that and a bag of chips. Mmmmm…chips. And by chips, I mean good prices. Here are the best of the best:

2005 Domaine de la Pépière Muscadet Sevre & Maine sur lie - (white, light & dry, $10) Only two weeks in the bottle, this normally steely-styled wine has a bigger punch of fruit than I expected. But it still kept to its characteristic minerally, dry, dry, dry self. This winery is always one of the most exciting offerings for Muscadet, a classic oyster and shellfish wine.

2005 Domaine de la Pépière Muscadet Sevre & Maine sur lie Vielles Vignes Clos des Briords - (white, light & dry, $12) Not available til June. By old vine, they mean 80ish years. Seeing as how my cheapness can’t see paying over $20 for Sancerre, this Muscadet might be its replacement. The soft, subtle undertones of sweet herbs and spice that was as hard to pin down as fog. It’s dry as a bone and deceptively simple.

2003 Clos du Tue-Boeuf Le Brin du Chèvre Touraine (Menu Pineau) - (white, medium body & dry, $15) Weird! I’ve never had this grape before. But I can tell you that there’s only about 60 acres of it in the world. This wine smelled of apple must and had the same zing I get from smelling fresh goat cheese. Dare I say piquant. I just did. I smell it more in my mouth than with my nose. Say wha? Coooooool. This is for nerds.

2004 Domaine du Closel Savennières La Jalousie - (white, rich & dry, $18) This is the only AOC where wines from chenin blanc must be dry. They can get a bit freaky sometimes. This one is always on the more elegant side. Aromas of apple rind, blossoms, and stone. Rich, but soft enough to let the earthier side come through. A classic beauty. Whether they’re dry or sweet, chenin blanc based wines always have a richer feeling, kinda like Viognier.

2004 Domaine de Bellivière Coteaux du Loir Blanc L’Effraie - (white, medium rich & dry, $21) Chenin blanc, from the other Loir, a little off shoot of the big river. I’d serve it instead of an over-priced white Burgundy such as Meursault. I keep thinking of the dialect coach in Singing in the Rain, “roe-OWWW-nd toooooohnes.” Ripe, red apple, almost a baked quality of richness, with a crisp finish. It would satisify the Chardonnay-obsessed, without boring the rest of us. And by the rest of us, I mean the royal us: me.

2004 Domaine Franck Peillot Mondeuse Bugey V.D.Q.S. - (red, lighter & dry, $15) Mondeuse is a grapey twice-removed cousin of Syrah. And this one tastes like either a peppery version of Pinot Noir or an even lighter version of Loire Valley Cabernet Franc. It smells flirty and fresh, but in the mouth it has an almost savory quality, backed up by rich red fruit and a hint of cracked pepper. This gets my “it’s only how much?” award.

Terres Doreés FRV 100 Vin Mousseux Aromatique de Qualité NV - (sparkling, pink, a bit sweet $15) This wine’s getting its very own post when I can get more info on it. I think it’s just about some of the prettiest pink bubbles ever. Fanciest? No. Most complex? No. Forget all that. When I tasted this wine, I had a moment. Not unlike, I’m sure, an International Foods coffee moment. Have you ever had a Moscato d’Asti? Well, people go apeshit for that stuff. There’s another wine called Braquetto d’Aqui. (stay with me here) It’s kind of the pink version of Moscato d’Asti. Light in alcohol, lightly bubbly, and lightly sweet. Well, screw that wine. The FRV 100 is also low in alcohol, not quite as bubbly as normal sparklers, but only the tiniest bit sweet. It smelled like a strawberry plant and had the lovliest of sweet/tart flavors. If you have the means to procur a bottle, I highly recommend it. Isn’t Mother’s Day soon?

2004 Terres Dorées Beaujolais Blanc Chardonnay - ( white, medium body & dry $12) Beaujolais Chardonnay? Outside of being possibly one of the best stripper names ever, this is a fun and fruity unoaked wine that has a nose of more exotic yet zippy fruit (green banana? kiwi?). Cool, clean and light.

2003 Terres Dorées Pinot Noir Bourgogne - (red, light & dry $16) Now I feel bad I’d only ever had this winery’s Beaujolais Nouveau, tasty though it may be. I feel robbed. This Pinot has the same seductive, “hi there” red raspberry fruit you expect, with a bit of earthiness and pepper, and a healthy dose of acidity. Very few under $20 Burgundies in this world…impressive.

2003 Mouthes lle Bihan Côtes de Duras Rouge Vieillefont - (red, medium+ body, $12) You’ll have to ask for it, very limited quantities… From the Southwest, near Bordeaux, this wine bitch slaps its more name-recognizable competition. Can you even get an un-swill Bordeaux for under $15 anymore? Rarely. This wine is Merlot, Cab Sauv, Cab Franc, and Malbec. It has an intense wild blackberry aroma and flavor, with sweet spice and great structure. And it’s organic. If I had to describe it to a fellow colleague, I’d say think of a kinder, gentler Cahors. You want a cheap cellar starter? I got your cellar starter right here.

2004 Chateau d’Oupia Hérétiques Vin de Pays de l’Hérault - (red, medium body, $8)

So, outside of a cool ass label and name, this wine has been on my permanent best buy list for a while. 100% Carignan. It is the typical earthy, rich, French country wine. It has more character and depth than most wines at this price. It also has a developed quality to its fruit and a backbone. I love giving it to people who only buy budget wine to show them that “budget” does not have to mean crap or fruit bomb. And it doesn’t mean you have to settle. Buy it by the case, and most places will give you another 10 to 20% off.