OK, first off, beer nerds: Please do not write me pointing out your hair-splitting beer technophilia. I write 600 word columns meant to ENCOURAGE the public to care more about what they drink, not Wikipedia entries. Get a grip. That kind of shit bores me to tears. I mean, I expect it from wine wonks; they can’t help themselves. I expect beer people to be a little differently socialized, though, and generally cooler.

So to recap my resume, I may be a girl, and younger than you, but I’ve been doing this for 20 years. If it’s mind altering, I’ve mixed it, brewed it, fermented it, distilled it, and smoked it. The whole point to my writing is to not make learning about wine and beer and spirits so fucking lame. Ergo, save your “I just wanted to point out…” for someone who cares. Oh wait, that would be NO ONE.

Be warned that when you write me about the fact that I didn’t discuss Oeschle levels in regards to ice wine or misstated something about fermentation, I will whip out a commanding knowledge of mother-fucking science, a full arsenal of f-bombs, and probably tell you you need to get laid.

Savvy? Now go drink this:

Stealing Home After A Trippel
in this issue of the Seattle Weekly